#25: The Passion Two: Resurrection of Mel Gibson's Jesus

"Okay, J.C., in this scene, you're going to be in a lot of pain." -Mel Gibson

"Okay, J.C., in this scene, you're going to be in a lot of pain." -Mel Gibson

We all know that Mel Gibson is quite the interesting character. From directing/starring in the hit epic Braveheart to embarking upon drunken racist/Anti-Semitic rants on public record, the man is most unpredictable, to say the least. But, as our heroes Trey Parker and Matt Stone suggest in their “Imaginationland” episode of South Park, Mel Gibson may be a loon, but the man knows plot structure. 

That’s why we at General Snobbery are most excited to see what ole Mel has cookin’ for his upcoming film, The Passion Two. Yes, we know he has stated that the film will be called Resurrection, but nevertheless, in our era of sequels, The Passion Two seems more fitting. Currently, there exists little to no information about The Passion Two. Thus, we are left to our speculative devices to ponder what amazing realities this sixth gospel (the fifth, of course, being The Passion One) may bring to be. 

Mel Gibson, as portrayed by South Park, whose nipples hurt when he twists them. 

Mel Gibson, as portrayed by South Park, whose nipples hurt when he twists them. 

In this episode, our conversation winds from the antics of Mel to the figure of Christ, from Jim Caviezel’s performance to Jesus’ distaste of snakes. We discuss Scorsese’s The Last Temptation of Christ in detail, juxtaposing it with Mel’s “Easter Card” portrayal of Christianity’s key figure. We consider just how Mel will succeed in making this film as violent as the rest of his, pausing to visualize just how he might portray J.C.’s descent into Hell in the three days following his death. And finally, we take a close look at the final scene of The Passion, the scene of the resurrection, where a hole in the hand reveals more than just a little Caviezel thigh…

We thank ye, listener, for tuning in, and we hope you join us in your excitement for this upcoming epic film. Currently, we know not who is cast for Jesus. Despite the fact that Jimmy C will be nearly fifty years old at the time of its filming, we strongly desire for his return as the Christ. So we ask you to help us #BringCaviezelBack, at any opportunity possible. 

Praise be, listener. Praise be. 

Here's a particular yoked and bearded Mel discussing The Passion and The Passion Two. He appears like he's gone slightly insane!

Watch closely for some Caviezel butt!

#24: The Truman Show's Compassionate Core

What a true man. 

What a true man. 

As the butterfly emerges form the cocoon--reborn, resurrected, entire--it floats on the breeze, a being somehow the same as the caterpillar it once was, a being somehow different. If only we could see this metamorphosis in a human being, that we may draw limitless inspiration and joy.

Praise be (prayer emoji) to the universe, director Peter Weir gave us this gift in The Truman Show, a film as masterfully crafted and as chortle-worthy as it is profound. Truman (Jim Carrey) is an Everyman living a life of ideal American standards, a life that is, according to all of his friends, perfect. And yet, Truman feels a longing for travel and for the world beyond his limited existence, an existence whose limits he does not fully understand. Maybe, Truman thinks, there is more to life than new kitchen utensils, a mortgage, or even a cold six pack that his friend Marlon always has. To escape the confined world he knows, Truman will have to listen to his soul instead of everyone around him, who, at the behest of the powerful Christof (Ed Harris) work to thwart Truman's real self.

Christof (Ed Harris), a face of compassion.

Christof (Ed Harris), a face of compassion.

For those who thought Jim Carrey was only good at speaking from his rear end, think again. This movie has masterful performances by Carrey, Harris, and the always delightful Laura Linney. If you are a True Snob, you will put on your life vest, enter the revolving door, and touch the sky with us, as we all seek to be True. So grab yourself one of Marlon's beers or fix yourself some Mococoa Mix--no artificial sweeteners--and follow the North Star to 🇫🇯 (Fiji).

(A special thanks to Mr. Philip Glass for offering your music to this wonderful film and thus this episode of the podcast.)

#23: Inferno: What In Hell Is Happening?

"Dirty" Tom Hanks stars in this terrible new film. 

"Dirty" Tom Hanks stars in this terrible new film. 

There are not many good things to say about the new film Inferno. In fact, there might not be any. It's horrible. Truly excruciating to bear. Fortunately, with special guest David Spitz at our side, we find plenty to snob about re: this terrible offering from washed-up director Clint Howard. The newest film in the Dan Brown adaptation-series that began with 2006’s The Da Vinci Code, Inferno follows the misadventures of ole Robby Langdon (played by Tom “Chilly-T” Hanks) as he follows a new trail of symbols. But hey, this time he has amnesia! So what’s been happening in the past? Why is he here? Why are any of us here, watching this horrible movie? Some questions are not meant to be answered, which is the premise upon which Clint Howard’s new film is founded. Should you choose to see Inferno, know fully that you are choosing to descend into a place of horror and despair, a place of confusion and chaos, where no pillars of value stand. This is an irrelevant movie that should not be seen. So tune into this new episode of General Snobbery! You don’t want to miss it! 

This painting by Botticelli is important in Inferno, I think.