#44: Armageddon

Your daily life is simple.  It is idealistic.  Your values are strong and your morals are sound.  There is no reason, you think, that you and everything you know should be wiped out in a matter of seconds.  Too fucking bad asshole.  You're going to die!


Here's Bruce Willis (aka Michael Bay) hitting golf balls at liberals

Harry Stamper was just a blue-collar oil driller.  He was smart, damn good at his job, and absolutely hated liberals of every kind.  He had a rag-tag team of strong Duncans and smart Wilsons.  All he wanted in his life was to run his rig, care for his daughter, and push his conservative agenda.  Too fucking bad asshole.  You're going to save the world!

Armageddon is a baffling film.  It is horribly written, way to long, and espouses a stringent form of conservative ideology that exists in the realm of nostalgia-worship.  When an asteroid the "size of Texas" is headed toward your home, you suddenly realize that the ways things used to be seem a lot more appealing than the ways they are going to be.  Catch our drift?  Michael Bay basically said earth represents conservative values and the asteroid represents liberal values.

Sean and Matt attempt to drill to the core of this movie, a movie that has so much that can be said about it that it is almost impossible to say anything at all about it.  A true anomaly of a film.

Michael Baby with his toy

At the core of this film is not a nuclear bomb, it is Michael Bay.  Actually, Michael Bay basically is a nuclear bomb in that both cause destruction and their proliferations are a question of morality.  The Man-child, Michael Bay, becomes a strong point of discussion in this Snob.  As always, Sean and Matt consider his intention, maturity, and whether he has absorbed the person of Jerry Bruckheimer.  (It is quite possible Michael Bay keeps Jerry Bruckheimer in a cage in his Ford Mustang garage, only letting Jerry out occasionally to do movie promotions.  To reference a film with much deeper themes, Jerry Bruckheimer is basically Michael Baby's Manchurian Candidate).

If there is a redeeming light in this particular Snob, it is the brief reference to our personal friend, Jake Busey.  Aside from that, another triumph is when Sean and Matt realize they never have to watch this shit-film (probably scheizefilmische) ever again.  The truth of Being-Toward-Explosion (Sein Zum Explosion (yes, the English and German are the same)), remains O so real! Non-American directors seek to highlight profound questions in their action movies whereas American directors seek to highlight their sweet space suits. 

Strap in, fight your space dimentia, and load your mini gun. We got somethin' big coming up. Zero Barrier!

Fuck you!

#24: The Truman Show's Compassionate Core

What a true man. 

What a true man. 

As the butterfly emerges form the cocoon--reborn, resurrected, entire--it floats on the breeze, a being somehow the same as the caterpillar it once was, a being somehow different. If only we could see this metamorphosis in a human being, that we may draw limitless inspiration and joy.

Praise be (prayer emoji) to the universe, director Peter Weir gave us this gift in The Truman Show, a film as masterfully crafted and as chortle-worthy as it is profound. Truman (Jim Carrey) is an Everyman living a life of ideal American standards, a life that is, according to all of his friends, perfect. And yet, Truman feels a longing for travel and for the world beyond his limited existence, an existence whose limits he does not fully understand. Maybe, Truman thinks, there is more to life than new kitchen utensils, a mortgage, or even a cold six pack that his friend Marlon always has. To escape the confined world he knows, Truman will have to listen to his soul instead of everyone around him, who, at the behest of the powerful Christof (Ed Harris) work to thwart Truman's real self.

Christof (Ed Harris), a face of compassion.

Christof (Ed Harris), a face of compassion.

For those who thought Jim Carrey was only good at speaking from his rear end, think again. This movie has masterful performances by Carrey, Harris, and the always delightful Laura Linney. If you are a True Snob, you will put on your life vest, enter the revolving door, and touch the sky with us, as we all seek to be True. So grab yourself one of Marlon's beers or fix yourself some Mococoa Mix--no artificial sweeteners--and follow the North Star to 🇫🇯 (Fiji).

(A special thanks to Mr. Philip Glass for offering your music to this wonderful film and thus this episode of the podcast.)