#57: The Santa Clause/Jingle All The Way

Whether it's rediscovering the beauty of childish mystery or buying into the paradigm that salvation is through material possessions alone, one thing is for sure, 90s fathers really suck at Christmas!

In today's special, two-film Snob, Sean and Matt enlist the help of a third Snob, a Snob ye astute listener know!  Amanda Pumpkins is back, and what a treat it is for her to join us once again!  With two hyperactive movies on the horizon, Amanda's grounded perspective helped keep this Snobbersation from flying higher than Old Arnold dressed as Turtle Man!

The movies of the day are Jingle All the Way - starring Arnold and Darth - and The Santa Clause - starring Timothy A, and Judge R.  Both movies have kids with dreams, both movies have fathers who just can't quite get their shit together, and one movie has Phil Hartman as the neighborhood player.

Just what exactly are these two movies trying to say about fatherhood in the age of materialism?  How do these near tragedies reflect the blinding optimism of the 90s?  Is Tim Allen really a huge Donald Trump fan?  Apparently, the answer is yes.  AAAAHHHHOOOOOOO (Tim Allen sound).

These questions and more are explored and many laughs are had!  What a joyous Snob this is and what a Christmas miracle to be joined by Amanda Pumpkins.  We wish you, only listener, many sweet Snobs and may all your materialistic dreams come true because, according to the 90s, that's where happiness lies.  Unless you're Tim Allen who is delusional not only in The Santa Clause, but in real life as well.

Merry Snobmas!

#56: Rocky IV: Ivan Drago, The Russian Boxer

Rocky Balboa is a guy who is Sylvester Stallone. When we watch Rocky progress over the course of many movies, we watch a man undergoing the effects of increasing steroid use. That all culminates in Creed, where Balboa's head has become the shape of a square.

But let's not overlook the skull-shaping effects of fifteen rounds of Ivan Drago punches. Ivan Drago is a man who is Dolph Lundgren, a certified genius, whose first name is short for "Dolphin." Dolph can punch so hard that he is capable of impressing an entire nation of Communists. After that, he punches so hard that he is capable of murdering Carl Weathers. It is very sad when that happens. But it's also triumphant, because Rocky Balboa realizes his skull can take fifteen times as many Drago punches than the skull of Weathers. Thus, America reigns supreme! 

Join us, listener, for this snob that meanders through the Siberian wilderness (which is actually just Wyoming) and pumps up through many training montages and a deep reading into Rocky IV's enduring allegorical nature. We hope you have fun. If not, well, at least you can climb a snowy mountain and scream, "DRAGO!" at the top of your lungs. This can be very helpful, even in the darkest of times. 

#55: Rudy: Uplifting Propaganda for The University of Notre Dame

Hello Snobs, how are you? Are you sad? Maybe not all of your dreams have come true. Don’t worry, Samwise is here. 

Rudy (1993) is a heartwarming story about The University of Notre Dame, a school so holy that it’s basically God. Aside from Notre Dame, Rudy is about football, middle class America, and having a lot of heart. Rudy (Shawn Ass-Tin) has so much heart.  He has all the heart in fact. #heart. 

Join Rudy as he faces every adversity in life and yet never gives up on his one goal: being the biggest Notre Dame fanboy in the world. 

Baby-Face Favrreau

Along the way, dear Snob, you will meet people like Fortune, a mystical groundskeeper who is wise and kind. You will also meet baby-face Favreau, a dweeb who becomes a pimp in the course of a few scenes. Finally there is Papa Ned Beatty, the famous father of fourteen children. Ned is kind of mean to his son with a lot of heart, but that’s okay, it just makes Rudy have more heart. 

Accented by a soothing soundtrack, Rudy is a feel good movie and perhaps the best Notre Dame commercial ever. 

Strap in Snobs, put your jersey on, and get those grades up. If you had one tenth the heart of Rudy, you’d listen to this podcast!