#66: The Goonies and Sex (Thanks, Freud!)

There's no way around it, Listener.  The Goonies is all about sex.  In particular, it is a coming of age story about what it means to be an American boy discovering sexuality for the first time.  Can the Goonies, by traveling deep into a cave, discover the treasure they looking for?  The treasure of ONE EYED WILLY?  Or, will they be thwarted by those mother-loving Italians, the Fratelli Brothers?

We know how it happened.  Fresh from the throes of his new-found, burgeoning love, having arisen from the dark Temple of Doom, Steven Spielberg demanded a movie about boys learning about sex.  And when the director of Jaws wants a movie about boys learning about sex, America gets a movie about boys learning about sex.

We got Astin, we got Brolin, we got Short Round, and all the rest, teaching us, the viewer, of the diverse ways American boys experience the onslaught of sexuality.  Some are timid.  Some are confident.  Some don't quite get it.  Some use gadgets.  

No matter what kind of puberty you had, we can all relate with Mikey.  All he wants is to find ONE EYED WILLY and save his family.  Is this really so fantastical?  Isn't that what every man has wanted throughout all of time?  I guess you could say, we can all relate with Mikey, especially Steven Spielberg who, once again, seems to be enthralled with the sexual awakening of these young boys.

As always listener, thank you for joining us.  We have no doubt that this episode will forever change the way you think about your GOONIE.

#65: Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, also known as Jurassic World 2, or Jurassic Park 5, is a new movie that has made over a billion dollars. This movie stars Chris Prat, James Cromwell, Bryce Dallas Howard, and a raptor named Blue. Pratt returns with his signature clicker to usher the way for these benevolent dinos to rule the world again. That T-Rex that was such a bad boiii in J. Park Uno is now pretty heroic, continuously saving the day alongside a new host of hilarious dinos, including one that rams things with its head. 

Join us for this return to snobbing form where we entertain the thousands of questions surrounding these dino films, including, but not limited to: the ethics of human cloning, capitalism and the 1%, John Hammond, feminism, British people, and that whale dinosaur that eats everything. We are thrilled you are joining us once again at this eternal table of snobbery, and we wish you good tidings as velociraptors threaten to break into your suburban home and eat you. Praise be. Praise be. 

#64: The Prestige: Bale v. Hackman

The Prestige is a movie directed by Christopher "Chris" Nolan, co-written with his baby bro Jonathan. But as "Chris" is a master of the subliminal, it becomes quite clear that The Prestige is Nolan's revelation to the world that he and Jonathan are actually the same person -- or, as Michael Caine would say, Jonathan is his "dubbow". 

This movie is confusing. In fact, at some level, we are almost certain it doesn't make any sense. But who gives a shit, cause magicians are fucking awesome! And if you don't think these magicians are super duper badass, then you'll at least be treated to some Bowie Tesla. In making this film, was "Chris" conspiring with Elon Musk to prepare the world for Tesla's return? Did that conspiring continue into Interstellar, when "Chris" prepared the world for Space X's mission to colonize other planets? 

Yes. And you'll hear why when you listen to this episode, which is such an awesome episode you really don't want to miss it, because if you miss it, your life will be a little less good than it would have been if you tuned into this snob. Keep the magic alive, keep questioning, and beware of any sinister dubbows waiting around the corner to drown you.