#44: Armageddon

Your daily life is simple.  It is idealistic.  Your values are strong and your morals are sound.  There is no reason, you think, that you and everything you know should be wiped out in a matter of seconds.  Too fucking bad asshole.  You're going to die!


Here's Bruce Willis (aka Michael Bay) hitting golf balls at liberals

Harry Stamper was just a blue-collar oil driller.  He was smart, damn good at his job, and absolutely hated liberals of every kind.  He had a rag-tag team of strong Duncans and smart Wilsons.  All he wanted in his life was to run his rig, care for his daughter, and push his conservative agenda.  Too fucking bad asshole.  You're going to save the world!

Armageddon is a baffling film.  It is horribly written, way to long, and espouses a stringent form of conservative ideology that exists in the realm of nostalgia-worship.  When an asteroid the "size of Texas" is headed toward your home, you suddenly realize that the ways things used to be seem a lot more appealing than the ways they are going to be.  Catch our drift?  Michael Bay basically said earth represents conservative values and the asteroid represents liberal values.

Sean and Matt attempt to drill to the core of this movie, a movie that has so much that can be said about it that it is almost impossible to say anything at all about it.  A true anomaly of a film.

Michael Baby with his toy

At the core of this film is not a nuclear bomb, it is Michael Bay.  Actually, Michael Bay basically is a nuclear bomb in that both cause destruction and their proliferations are a question of morality.  The Man-child, Michael Bay, becomes a strong point of discussion in this Snob.  As always, Sean and Matt consider his intention, maturity, and whether he has absorbed the person of Jerry Bruckheimer.  (It is quite possible Michael Bay keeps Jerry Bruckheimer in a cage in his Ford Mustang garage, only letting Jerry out occasionally to do movie promotions.  To reference a film with much deeper themes, Jerry Bruckheimer is basically Michael Baby's Manchurian Candidate).

If there is a redeeming light in this particular Snob, it is the brief reference to our personal friend, Jake Busey.  Aside from that, another triumph is when Sean and Matt realize they never have to watch this shit-film (probably scheizefilmische) ever again.  The truth of Being-Toward-Explosion (Sein Zum Explosion (yes, the English and German are the same)), remains O so real! Non-American directors seek to highlight profound questions in their action movies whereas American directors seek to highlight their sweet space suits. 

Strap in, fight your space dimentia, and load your mini gun. We got somethin' big coming up. Zero Barrier!

Fuck you!

#40: Starship Troopers: Nazis, Propaganda, and Michael Bay

Hollywood blockbuster action movies are about beloved protagonists, the overcoming of evil, and plenty of explosions. But sometimes they're about the existential reality that each of us barely teeters on the line of fascism. Yes, that is right. General Snobbery wishes you to know, you might be a fascist!

Jake Busey, Son of Gary

Jake Busey, Son of Gary

Starship Troopers is the film today! Sean and Matt venture back to 1997 once again to explore what is their favorite #emerging topic: how do action films directed by non-Americans differ from those directed by Americans? Have you ever considered this question? "Do you want to know more?" Then press the play button, you filthy little fascist!

They were just attractive, vibrant youths who wanted adventure and wanted to serve their government. That is where our story opens! Johnny Rico was one of these young men, played by Casper "the friendly" Van Dien. We follow Johnny, along with his friends Carmen, Dizzy, Carl, and Byron Hadley as they serve their government, become citizens, and kill Bugs! And o yea, they also become fascists!

Doogie Howser the Nazi

Doogie Howser the Nazi

At the surface, Starship Troopers is a typical, cheesy sci-fi movie about humans with guns and gross aliens with goo. The comedic writing is not only typically timed, it's totally predictable. In short, there is nothing new or good about this movie. Until you realize director Paul Verhoeven did that on purpose, making a brilliantly tight satire with a pigment, and scary, message. The meassage - war makes fascists of us all! Paul Verhoeven is Dutch, just like Ævart.

If you wish to know more about how fascism emerges in everyday life, watch Starship Troopers. You might also consider reading some Heidegger, because that man was actually a Nazi.

Join Sean and Matt as they continue the dasein of high-budget Hollywood and continue discovering what exactly it means to live toward explosion.

Also, Jake Busey.